A Positive Outlook & Enhancing Self
Esteem
A new Radiant Stress Buster(sm) is added every other month -- bookmark this page in your
browser and support
yourself with stress breaks in the midst of information overload on the Information Highway!
-- from The Expanded Reference Manual of The Radiance Technique®
If you have studied The Radiance Technique®, you can use TRT® hands-on and other tools that you have learned with these Radiant Stress Busters(sm).
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #18:
A Positive Outlook & Enhancing Self
Esteem
Your ability to see the world and your own life with optimism begins the process of building a genuinely positive outlook. When you see yourself and your life positively, your self esteem is enhanced and expanded.
Language is very powerful and can reflect a positive outlook one that sees situations and people optimistically with a favorable future or outcome. Or, the language may reflect a negative outlook one that is pessimistic and views the world as gloomy, and makes you expect the worst.
Relax in a comfortable setting without distractions. Close your eyes and breathe gently. Place your hands in your Heart and see the details of a recent situation that is important to you. Notice the exact language of your thoughts. Take 3-5 minutes to explore the situation, breathing gently, and leaving hands in your Heart. Remain relaxed, open your eyes, and write down the key words or phrases you have used to describe the situation, the people in it, and yourself.
Then take an inventory by rearranging these words or phrases into a positive and a negative column so that you can see at a glance how you view this specific situation. Notice if you think in generalities such as "he always criticizes me, but then most people are critical." Be honest in putting things into a positive or negative column.
Use this exercise to explore and identify your own outlook. If you find a negative view and want to explore changing that, do this exact exercise above, only this time choose only words or phrases that reflect a positive outlook, one that you want to have. When you have finished notice how you feel. Do this exercise whenever you want to expand your positive outlook.
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #17:
Connecting to Your Core Values
In your own inner thoughts and feelings, you have developed a sense of values, those core beliefs that move you to connect, to feel related to yourself, other people, and larger issues and questions. Your unspoken sense of your own purpose runs through your life. Any task and any relationship is less stressful when you can see its relationship to some important purpose.
Perhaps, you want to be the best friend that you can be, or the best parent to your children, or the person your friends can count on. Such feelings give you a sense of purpose and shape the values that you believe in.
Take a few moments to relax. Close your eyes and place your hands on your Heart. Go inside yourself and notice at least one important goal or purpose that you know to be true of you and your most heart-felt values. Have a note pad near by and write it down.
Having a sense of connection takes more than just talking about your point of view. It takes participating in doing something about the things you hold close to your heart. Make a plan for yourself for the coming week to do something each day to strengthen your sense of connection to the purpose you wrote down. Each day, even for a few minutes, remind yourself that this is important to you and take some action that expresses it. You might donate your time and energy a few hours a month to a cause you believe in. You might call your parents, your children or a friend to tell them how important they are to you. You might do something you really enjoy, taking a walk, listening to music, meditating or praying.
Notice how stress in your life releases when you are taking the time to be giving of yourself and doing something you value. Remember to keep strengthening your sense of connection to your real purposes.
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #16:
Stress and Self Esteem
Stress can be situational . . . which includes those times and situations where you have little or no control over what is happening. Stress can also be self induced or self created
Your thoughts about yourself and how you value yourself directly relate to your self esteem. Your thoughts can either help you to stay centered when stressful situations occur or they can add to the stress and erode your self esteem.
Read the following thoughts and make note if you have similar thoughts about yourself:
Each of these thoughts is self defeating, stress creating and will destroy your self esteem. You will be adding to the stress in your life by thinking them. To enhance your self esteem, you need to change these kinds of thoughts. Begin by placing your hands on your Heart, closing your eyes, and taking a few deep breaths. Then, gently open your eyes and read the first statement above. It is a negative comparison. Without comparing, could you think instead: "Everyone handles things differently and I can learn to use my own capacities in stressful situations."
Close your eyes for a moment and then read #2. Instead of blaming yourself, could you think instead: "I am being unrealistic and have set too high a standard. I am really not in control of everything."
Continue with your hand in your Heart and read #3. The ability to see yourself as worthwhile even when you make a mistake is one of the hallmarks of a person with strong self esteem. Could you think: "I want to learn new things and I may make a mistake as I am learning."
Remember to notice what you are thinking as different situations occur. Practice changing your thoughts to those that are more positive and self supporting to reduce stress and strengthen your self esteem.
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #15:
Self Esteem and Stress
Self esteem is how you feel and think about yourself ... it's your own inner attitude
about you which comes from a number of influences in your life and environment.
Positive self esteem is feeling a sense of value and worth about yourself and having
a high, genuine regard for yourself and others. Conversely, negative self esteem is feelings and
thoughts of self criticism, self doubt, self blame and shame, frequent disappointment with your
abilities, actions and relationships.
First, right now, write down one or two main patterns which you feel are minimizing your
feelings
of self value/worth and which are negative stress factors in your life.
Now, put your hands over your closed eyes or lean your face into your hands with your elbows at
a table. Feel your body and mind relaxing and letting go of stress.
In your mind or out loud, give yourself a compliment about something you know you
have done well recently ... even just a small thing will do! Tell yourself what a fine job you did
...
be specific and praise yourself in detail!
With your eyes closed, move your hands to your heart area and slowly take three
deep breaths. When you are ready open your eyes and continue with your daily activities.
Remember to use this stress releasing and transforming exercise several times during each day ...
you will find it very supportive to use this exercise for yourself in the morning, midday, late
afternoon and/or evening near your bed time.
Continued use will allow you to manage this kind of stress and to shift to a healthy state of
positive self esteem. You will begin feeling better about yourself and others,
and you will soon be able to experience a deeper sense of meaning and value in
your life.
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #14:
Travel, Stress Release and
TRT®
Before beginning your trip, print out all of the Radiant Stress Busters(sm) to take along and use on the following suggested breaks. Those on humor are especially valuable for the traveler whether by car, bus, train or airplane!!!
Travel by car can be one of the most difficult and stress-filled situations. Whether you are the driver or passenger, stress can build so that you may find yourself driving with hands tightly gripping the wheel, or if you are a passenger, your foot can be tapping the brake pedal that isn't there.
Before beginning your journey, pay as much attention to your physical, emotional and mental condition as possible. Make a Radiant agreement with all in the car that you will emphasize stress releasing, not stress building, while you travel. First, take frequent breaks -- not more than two or two-and-a-half hours should go by without physically stopping, getting out for stretches, refreshments and if you are lucky enough to be traveling with someone else, you can also have a change of driver.
Whether or not you have studied The Radiance Technique®, follow the following suggestions. Use TRT® Head Position #1, both hands covering your face and eyes, for not less than 3-5 minutes. At the next stop, check out where your body needs to relax and place your hands in that place for 3-5 minutes, while breathing deeply and slowly. If alone, make it your own Radiant Rule to stop every two to two-and-a-half hours and take not less than 10-15 minutes for some stretching, breathing and using one of the Radiant Stress Busters(sm) for relaxing... and when you do stop for food breaks, remember to relax into your meal.
Give yourself Radiant Reminders along the way. Reward yourself after a difficult traffic jam on the road, or upon seeing a road accident, by stopping soon after and taking a few minutes to renew yourself and to use Front Position #1 -- both hands on your Heart Center -- to expand your love and support to all those around you. Never let anger lead you down the highway. Instead, let go and remember to "En-Lighten-Up and Keep Smiling...No matter what!" These words are a Radiant reminder from Dr. Barbara Ray, author of The Radiance Technique® and Managing Stress, who encourages us to be aware every moment to let go, just relax, and "Keep Smiling!" Use the Radiant Stress Busters(sm) on Humor and Being Silly to help you. Put your reminders on your steering wheel, or on your trip plan!
Beginning Now -- Plan every trip you take Radiantly!
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #13:
"Being Silly"
Children are great guides for the art of Being Silly! They create silly songs, make up silly games -- for them it is never embarrassing to be silly. A little book by Robert Holden, called Laughter The Best Medicine shares the possibility that "Silliness often inspires creativity, original thought, invention and innovation." It may help to remember that Copernicus' ideas stating that the sun, not the earth was the center of the solar system would have been "silly" in his time, and that Alexander Graham Bell's idea of a telephone probably initially sounded "silly" to people who had never seen one. Alfred North Whitehead wrote that "The 'silly' question is the first intimation of some totally new development."
Set a silly goal for yourself such as having at least three "Being Silly" stress breaks each day. Read and practice the exercises in Radiant Stress Busters(sm) #11 and #12 to get you started. Also, try observing the "serious" moments of your day through "silly" eyes. During your two-to-five minute "Being Silly" break, think of a serious situation, or a person who is seriously challenging you. Put both hands on your solar plexus. Picture him or her blowing bubbles or totally nude or dressed in a clown costume while still in that serious situation. At the same time, picture yourself with all your clothes on backwards. Continue with your hands in your solar plexus as you begin to laugh. Each time, create your own silly fantasy and make it as silly as you can. Go ahead and laugh! Out Loud!
Remember, you will be in a real discovery process by "Being Silly" -- you might even get a new job. After all, comedians get paid to make people laugh. Out Loud!
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #12:
Laughing Out Loud
You can expand further with your experiences of stress, humor and laughing out loud. Recently a group of people really got some "belly" laughs by sharing some experiences of stress where they had not laughed.
Looking at the stressful incident in the present tense, they placed one hand on their hearts and the other hand on their solar plexus and told their story, giving all the details of what had seemed so terrible at the time. They laughed and others laughed -- out loud. And, the laughter and the events being shared as well as the person sharing them will never be the same!!!You can also do this with yourself by picturing the incident or event in graphic detail while placing one hand on your heart and one hand on your solar plexus. Share the event out loud and laugh all by yourself out loud. It can be a silly, playful moment...children do it all the time...and it has been said that children laugh 90 times a day!
It has also been said that we do not stop playing because we are old, we grow old because we stop playing.
Radiant Stress Buster(sm) #11:
Stress and Humor
In daily life, we are all subject to a wide variety of pressures ... sometimes you cope well and feel little adverse effects on your sense of well-being ; yet, at other times, you really feel this pressure as negative stress. And, different people find very different situations to be stressful. What one person finds highly stressful or extremely challenging will not necessarily stimulate that same response in another. One way to think of it is stress occurs for you when an immediate or long term pressure exceeds your resources/skills to cope with it . Fortunately, Nature has provided within our physical selves natural stress releasers called endorphins which, when released, promote releasing tension and relaxing, pain relieving and have an overall positive affect on the major physiological systems of the human body. You have the power to activate these endorphins for your benefit through humor and laughter ! Humor in stressful situations keeps you balanced and opens a doorway for stress release before you become desperate, discouraged, depressed -- even seriously ill . Seeing the humor in your chaos, no matter how big or small the stress producing situation, and laughing out-loud about some aspect of it, triggers the release of endorphins helping to put it all in perspective ! This natural process empowers you to see other insights to the situation, to consider other options and possibilities and to make other choices -- it relieves your pressure of feeling powerless and boxed-in or trapped in a situation. Humor helps you cope with important difficulties in several ways by promoting a more balanced perspective, by changing your focus for a few minutes which releases increasing stress and by giving you time to break up what could be turning into a pressure situation which could really impair your ability to cope and to help yourself. A well-known stress researcher, Hans Selye put it this way: "Nothing erases unpleasant thoughts more effectively than concentration on pleasant ones."
So, the next time you find yourself getting " stressed-out ", remember that humor empowers you to turn the situation around uplifting you from fears, despairs, confusions and stress related pressures. Humor and laughter restore your natural power and put you in charge .
In addition, while invoking your sense of humor and laughing out-loud, create and experiment with some stress releasing exercises by using some hands-on positions on yourself, and for students of TRT® use TRT® Hands-On & Radiant Touch®. For example, experiment with one hand on your throat and one hand on your heart while continuing to laugh . For a few minutes, put your hands on your head in a comfortable position , close your eyes and visualize the humor in the stressful situation and allow yourself to laugh or giggle ! Put your hands on your solar plexus, the navel area where stress is often stored, close your eyes and find the humor in the pressure situation letting yourself laugh out-loud ! Be creative with your experiments and discover certain things that work specificallyfor you. Then, you can master your own special, personal techniques using them each day for maintaining balance, health , keeping your sense of well-being and expanding your inner peace no matter what comes your way.
Remember, it has been said that angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly !